Julia LaRen Shatswell

Never, in a bazillion years, did I think that I would ever be this vulnerable with the general public about my struggles with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and the physical toll it has taken on my body. But now – here I am – writing a blog post about it!  Please don’t think that my condition is because of a lack of trying. I have done all the things: discipline, diets, willpower, exercise, medical advice, hormone and dietary rebalancing, medication, prayer, and faith. I believe that God is going to get the credit for healing me and in order for that to happen, I need to share with everyone how bad the struggle has been. 

I was the “shy” kid in our family and I definitely don’t want additional attention for anything. I was so afraid to speak up that I didn’t want to ask for a box at the dinner table, didn’t want to talk to anyone I didn’t know, and didn’t sing at church because of what people would think of my voice if it wasn’t perfect. I was held back by so many chains: my fear of man, expectations and insecurities. 

God has been teaching me about who I really am and how he sees me and my Identity in Christ. I’m learning that He has not created me to be bound by those chains but to live in the freedom of life with Him. 

Now that you know how challenging this is to be so public with my private journey, you can understand that it’s not something that I would share if God didn’t tell me to and get all the glory from it. It has taken me so many years to realize that when it comes down to it, we have a lot in common with each other: We are all facing individual challenges and were created by our Heavenly Father to glorify and bring praise to Him, we are loved endlessly by Him, and there is nothing we can do to be more loved. 

Lord thank you for bringing me through this process so that I can learn how much you’re willing to do to heal this earthly body. Thank God you for the sacrifice of your son Jesus and that He has paid the entire price for my healing. 

This all started when I was 14 and started to go through puberty. I started to put on excessive weight, experience hair growth, and get large cyst-like boils in my underarms and groin area. These cysts are extremely painful due to the location and inflammation. They leave me with heavy scarring and chronic pain. I have tried what seems like everything possible to help get rid of these cysts and to lose weight. 

I went on a year’s worth of Accutane which has extreme side effects and subsequently birth control which is an added hormonal therapy. Being on Accutane and birth control led me to the worst bone and joint pain I have ever felt in my life. I was not able to walk for any length of time, sleep at night, and I felt like I had horrible arthritis in both my knees and hips. All of a sudden I had the body of a 50 year old at 17 years of age. I experienced the worst acne I’ve ever had, and was unable to be in the sun because of the rashes that it would produce.

During this time, I became the most anxious and depressed I have ever been in my life. This was right after graduating high school and I found myself getting caught up in a trap of comparison which is a different story for a different day.

Current treatments include multiple almost constant use of various antibiotics, as well as having the cysts cut open and drained. Not fun. In regards to my weight, no matter what diet I eat, no matter how healthy or how strict I am, nothing I do helps me lose weight. At this point it’s not about being a certain size or shape and it has nothing to do with my body image. It’s me wanting to be healthy and fit for ministry and be able to enjoy my future family. Every diet I try leads me to feeling like a failure and the cycle of losing more and more hope. 

When I was in the Philippines at the beginning of 2023, I began to experience an all time high of PCOS symptoms and effects. I wasn’t currently doing anything through diet or medicine to control it. I had not ever been officially diagnosed with PCOS, only told I was pre-PCOS and treated for various symptoms. We started to research it and found when we looked up “PCOS” I was experiencing ALL of the problems. Out of desperation I went to get supplements and went on a purely whole foods only diet. I was eating mainly raw vegetables, nuts, fruits, and meat. I decided that was the only thing I could do while on outreach. I just wanted to feel better and find relief from the dizziness, nausea, bloating, restless feelings in my limbs, extreme fatigue, inability to sleep, continued weight gain, inconsistent period length and frequency, and painful cysts. It was so bad that I was concerned that I would have to leave my ministry team and not be able to continue the outreach in the Philippines. 

Looking to the future, I was excited to get home and see if I could find a doctor that would be able to help me. Through this, I learned again of God’s unending love for me. I learned to receive more of His love. I was extremely grateful for my community and team of amazing people who showed me another facet of God’s love. It was hard to receive because I felt like I didn’t do anything to deserve it. And it’s true! But that’s God’s love for us, completely undeserved, unrestrained, radical LOVE. I learned that it is nothing I can strive for, because it is already freely given.

I went home and started to go to another functional medicine doctor. She immediately prescribed me with metformin and spironolactone, to help my body process glucose and lower my testosterone. I didn’t like that idea of taking medications to help but I was desperate to try anything. I was on both of those for about a month and saw low-to-minimal results much to the Dr’s surprise. 

I came across the Lion Diet or the Carnivore Diet. Outside of a miraculous event happening, out of all my research, this was the only thing that has COMPLETELY gotten rid of PCOS in other people. Everything else was ways of living that helped cope with the symptoms. I know my God is way bigger than this hormonal disorder and chronic skin condition. He can heal me with a single word and I believe He wants to heal me. 

No one will succeed by strength alone.

1 Samuel 2:9

I also know that He wants to get all the Glory and He will! While doing this carnivore diet I have learned a huge lesson. It has been extremely humbling to have to tell people about my issues when they ask why I’m eating this way. He is getting all the GLORY. 

Even within the last year I would have never dared to tell anyone because of how embarrassing it feels to be so transparent about such a personal problem. Now I feel like he has told me to write this blog so that he will be known as The Great Physician!! He is the Healer. Jehovah Rapha. It is His nature to heal and restore!! I am believing for full healing and restoration to my body – this body that He created. 

In this current trial, it is my joy to suffer for the glory of Him. He is worthy of it all. Even though I do wish it was over, I am content to wait on the Lord for His timing and in His way. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 

I am honored to be used by Him in this way of reconciling people to him. Even in the hardships, He will be magnified. He is entirely faithful and just. His unfailing love endures forever! 

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

James 1:2-4

I was reminded this past week that I cannot do this in my own strength. I am incredibly weak. I often feel very sick, tired, weak, and I always have some kind of pain from the cysts. I praise Him on the good days and on the bad days because His character is not dependent on how I am feeling that day. 

Please pray with me and believe God for this healing. I know that it doesn’t take much (faith of a mustard seed) and where two or three gather and pray, this too shall be accomplished!  

‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of God can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10